What would life be without dread, without horror? It is when we are afraid that we are most aware of our mortality. When gripped by terror is when we feel most alive. A healthy fear is what has kept the species safe and allowed the human race to thrive. And who embodies true fear and dread and horror more than The Great Old One, The Sleeper of R’lyeh, Cthulhu? With great leathery wings and tentacled mouth he lies dead, in a sense, maybe, but not as we know death, deep in slumber in that ancient sunken stone city. In our nightmares he calls to us, or is it we that call to him? In inexplicable moments of anxious paranoia we experience an affirmation that he still lies in slumber, just beyond our gaze, with cruel tentacles reaching out to us all, wrapped around our subconscious minds. Should you ever be out on the open sea, staring down in to the deep waters at night, and should you feel a cold fear grip your heart that terrifies you with imaginings of what lurks beyond what we can see, you will know that he still lies. And should you try to avert your gaze to calm your spirit, and look up at the black night’s sky and feel the exact same dread at the thought of the vast open reaches of the cosmos, you will know that it is from whence he came. Oh great Cthulhu, malevolent overlord yet to rise, at least we know you are always there. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

Soap. The real common denominator. Whether you make use of an overpriced luxury brand, or just a basic bottom of the range bar of whatever is on special, all of us use soap at least once a day. More if we count the different applications and variations. To keep ourselves clean, we use body soap, hair soap (shampoo) and tooth soap (toothpaste). To keep our clothes clean we use washing powder. For our cutlery and dishes we use dish soap. We have car shampoos, floor polish and shoe polish. All in the pursuit of cleanliness. And yet we never really stop to think about this miracle substance that keeps us and our environment looking and smelling good, and a whole lot healthier. As a salt of fatty acids, this base has been used since 2800BC as a cleaning agent to enhance general hygiene, and can be said to be a major contributor to the rise of general health and wellbeing of the human race. Whether you are using soap to wash your hands after going to the bathroom, or scrubbing up to prevent infection during a life-saving surgery, the contribution that soap has made, and keeps making to our everyday lives is one of the utmost importance. One that should not be overlooked when we assess the distance mankind has come from its early days as mere animals. So next time when you are working up a froth to scrub off the dirt from your body, give a thought to the one thing we all have in common, the one thing we all rely on, and cheers to soap.

Teachers devote their lives to raising other people’s children. Yes, you do expect children to arrive at school with a certain amount of discipline and manners already ingrained in them, but because they are in an environment free from parental scrutiny, they feel freer to be themselves. And it is that “themselves” that a teacher will see, acknowledge, and shape into something that will be the perfect balance of beneficiality between the individual and society. We all think we know what a teacher’s job entails, having all gone to school ourselves. We remember the person standing in front of the class, imparting new knowledge, cleverly illustrated on the whiteboard (or blackboard, depending on your age) behind them. But what we didn’t see was what they really do for a living. The late nights marking seemingly endless papers, the “afternoons off” that they spent at a departmental meeting, a drama club, coaching sports or setting up for an awards ceremony. The weekends doing lesson plans or setting tests. The late nights lying awake, worrying about that student who has no food at home, or the one being abused by a parent. The meetings in which they tirelessly fought for a student they knew could do better, whom everyone else has given up on. We do not give teachers nearly enough credit. It took myself working in the profession for four years, and eventually acknowledging that I was not cut out for the job, to realise how much a teacher really does. Socially they will never receive the esteem that other professions enjoy. They will never earn what they deserve to, but in this tribute at least, I would like to acknowledge teachers for what they really mean to society, and hope that one day we could all see them this way: as the heroes hat make modern life what it is.

Henri Kruger lived from 1938 to 2006. He was my grandfather and the day that he died I immediately knew that I had lost the only other like me and I immediately regretted the time we never spent together. There is a careful balance between being strong and being strict that he had mastered. When it turned out that my own father, his own son, was not worthy of the name, he did not attempt to make any excuses. He was strong. He stood by me, acknowledged his son’s faults, and comforted me, praising me for having stood up against what were very real abuses. And when we were under his care and we transgressed, he would reprimand us, not physically, but by means of a concise explanation of what we had done wrong, and why it was wrong. In a time and culture where questioning was discouraged and frowned upon, he read books that his friends described as “dangerous”. He had a thirst for knowledge and he was not ashamed of it. My own curiosity and thirst for knowledge was nurtured by him and the example he had set. Thus, today, everything that I am proud of being, I can link directly to him. And yet it feels like I never really knew him. Even in my desire to create things with my own hands I feel a link to him, as that was his passion. In my tendency to be considerate and long-suffering I know it is the best part of him living on inside of me, even though such characteristics are regarded by some as a weakness, I am proud of it. Maybe I could have made a greater effort to spend more time with him, but I still would have been left with the same feeling of regret and time lost, because with individuals like that you can never give enough of your time to soaking up their experience.

The internet is one of those beautiful things that show exactly what can happen when the public has freedom to do what they want with a system. In a sense, it is the only truly democratic system in the world. If something is popular on the internet, it genuinely reflects public interest. If it exists on the internet, but garners no support or popularity, it reflects the public’s apathy. Staring slowly in the 80’s it grew rapidly and exploded into every aspect of people’s lives. It reshaped news, entertainment, communication, socialisation, marketing and every other aspect of our lives. This alone is a testament to its incredible reach and power, but its true glory lies in the celebration of undiluted and unadulterated human nature. The obscure combination of seemingly insensitive trolling and jokes, with genuine care and compassion, showcases the entire spectrum of human nature. It is as easy to educate yourself by making use of the internet, as it is to waste time watching people fall. For every person donating to a charity or worthy cause, there is another buying drugs or prostitutes. For every compliment or outpouring of support, there is another making fun of sensitive subjects. Thus, in the hands of the free citizens, the internet stand as a testament to everything we are as a species. It records the truth of humanity, unfiltered, uncensored, just as it is, not just as we would have it presented or what is comfortable to see. The internet is the truth of who we are.

Has there ever been anything as dichotomous as science? Has anything else ever been able to simultaneously fill us with so much dread and so much elation? Truly today science is our hero. It has found the cure for some terrible disease. But tomorrow it will find a source of energy so vast that it could destroy us all. At least, if we choose to use it that way. And for that, we are to blame. You see, science does not want to heal OR destroy. It simply is. Science does not judge, does not differentiate, has no agenda, does not care… Science simply is. It is the perfect system for discovering our world. It is the perfect system for learning and investigation and exploration. It is but a way to understand. Of all the methods we have derived for going about or day-to-day existence, science is the only one without bias. Without preferential treatment of groups or individuals. Only science is equally valid for the pauper, as well as the price. Thus we give praise to science for being fair and always honest. For taking us from fire to the far reaches of our solar system and even beyond. For helping us stay healthy and grow older. For connecting us with each other. And although many would make scientific discovery off as conspiracy or plot, science is always going to be there, telling the truth, whether we make use of it or not.

Whiskey, my old friend, you started off as an acquired taste. At first I was wary of spending too much of my hard earned money on you. But I learned to respect the time you take to reach your full potential, and in so doing learned to take my time in pursuit of perfection. I got to know your storied history and wide-spread culture, while at the same time working on my story, improving my own legacy. So now… I think of it less as spending and more as an investment. The night before my wedding you calmed my nerves. After long days at work you reminded me that my house is a home. Whenever there is celebration, or mourning, you are ever present. When writing and the words seem to be locked away, you present the key. So together we have matured, with each year become more and better than the year before. But more than that, you have encouraged me to share, for the only way to make a great dram any better, is to share it with someone you love and care about. And although I do not judge or have preferences, I know now which whiskeys my wife likes, my friends like, my family likes and can sit and share and laugh and live, because of a complex drink that gives more than it takes. And today, with each sip, I don’t just drink, I decode a special message from the distiller, written on water with wood and grains over long periods of time.