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The one that got away

Dear Janko, I know you will not be able to read this or maybe I am wrong and there is some kind of life beyond death. Who knows?

It is funny how I have been trying to forget you, but now I have ended up writing a tribute to you. On April 2nd it would be your first death anniversary. I still haven’t properly acknowledged the fact that you are dead and it’s going to be your 1st death anniversary.

I hate this personally, crying over people, I utterly hate it, but life sees the fun in tormenting me. Since childhood, I have been surrounded by death, people keep dying and it doesn’t stop. There is no end! Before it didn’t affect me, but since the 5th class it has started to really hurt because, these links of memories I have with you and all, they were constructed over years and it didn’t even take a second for you all to just become memories.

I see it as really unfair, I fell in love with you, you have known me even way before I could understand what the word grandmother meant, but suddenly you left without saying a last goodbye and without giving your, one last hug?!

In all the tributes I have written what I like about them, but how do I describe why I like you when I don’t; I love you and feel different emotions for you. I had no choice but to love you because you are that beautiful or were, this is all so confusing.

I love the way you talked, whenever we arrived you were the first one to hug us all, the love you have given us is something I now very badly crave for. I would have written a lot, but I just can’t muster up the courage to actually share what we had in between us. I don’t want to share something that I can’t describe myself.

You were the most beautiful person I have ever met and still are. Yours sincerely, Nehal



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