I met a man 3 years ago. We had an immediate connection, which at first, I thought was weird, because it never happened me before! After that day, he contacted me and we talked for hours… we felt so good and got each other for everything.
I couldn’t believe that I met this man, he was so respectful and kind to me. He was such a loving and caring person. At that time, I was so unhappy and disappointed from people around me, that I couldn’t even think to have a relationship of any kind, I was so in pain and taken for granted that I was thinking on how to permanently release myself from continuous pressure and disappointment.
But then it happened: ‘him’! We would tell each other every problem, every joy, heartbreak and sadness we had, always with a strange similar way of thinking. Suddenly, I had this very special friend whom brought life to me…whom even his friends became my friends too, but this special friend was different from all, that even when going out with our friends we would ‘annoy’ them with our jokes that we were capable of doing by just looking each other in the eye. We were so alike, spiritually connected, simply he was my soulmate! Something I’d never thought it really exists!
Five amazing months passed since first met this man, they were the best and happy times of my life, that even if I wouldn’t eat for days I would be full of energy from this connection we had, it was like I was reborn with all that positive feelings that he brought me! I was a whole different person, a lot happier and stronger. We became each other’s courage and happiness.
Suddenly, everything changed. He got a scholarship outside the country and had to leave in 1 month. Right after that moment, he kissed me and said those three words;’ I love you ‘! We’ve already told those three words to each other for so many times... but not in this way, this time was different!
My head was all messed up, because I wasn’t loving him in that way, I was loving and adoring him, but not as my life partner and I knew for sure he felt the same! You can be sure for such thing when you spend hours and hours communicating with that person.
We had different goals and dreams, it’s like our souls were the same but our paths were all strange… exactly, Soul Mates! I refused to have that kind of relationship with him because we never had feelings for each other more than just in friendship terms! I supposed that he was just having a fear of losing me, our special connection since he was going outside the country! So, I chose to ‘hurt’ him and to have our lives apart for a time, to give each other some space.
Feelings of ‘guilt’ can harm you so bad that it can cause to put you down in depression. But I decided not to go down this time, but instead let him reflect because, I realized that when a soulmate enters your life, it seems that is meeting you exactly on the level you need it to. You learn lessons together that help you get through that stage of your life but then, things can change even if you don’t want to, and that can be so painfully for both. But even though it was painful spending and re-starting our lives without each other’s presence, we agreed that it was the right thing to do for the moment.
A day after he was gone I thought that my depressive and sad world of me would captivate me again... But no! And why...? Because thanks to him!
He got me out of that dark place that I was on and showed me that the world is still beautiful, that there are so many things in this life to appreciate, enjoy and be thankful for. Two months passed and we were already taking different paths and experiences, he realized that we were spiritually connected but not physically attracted to each other. In the meantime, we met our life partners, both got in relationships for almost in the same time.
So, it’s like we helped each other in that certain stage of life, and moved on. Because in contrast, a life partner is usually not something you spiritually or energetically prepare yourself for, like you would with a soulmate. Instead, ‘it requires emotional and mental preparation and physically putting yourself out there’, and enjoying the exciting experience while getting to know each other, learn about your differences and similarities, a whole different feeling on which you resonate with each other’s value, and fulfill each other’s needs and wants.
We would still constantly communicate through social media, but as days passed on our conversations got shorter and shorter. Now, even though our friendship didn’t last forever, for sure the love is always going to be there. It is strange to have someone in your life for a certain of time, then walk away as never existed and leaving a beautiful journey behind to always remember and cherish for. This ‘someone’ that you feel as if you have known forever.
This is to you Tony; you’ve been there when I cried, when I laughed, when I got heartbroken, when I was sad…
Promise me you won’t forget our laughs, our conversations, our tears, our memories, our experiences. Our shared happiness! Because, I promise, forever and ever even if we meet 10 years apart from now or never again; my heart will forever have a special place for you, it will forever miss you, and it will forever be happy and thankful for knowing you that you are somewhere in this world, that from your existence I’m still breathing too, and it will forever hope to re-meet you... as we used to say; ‘‘You’re my dearest friend in all the universe’’.
Tagged under# Friends
© Tributize AG 2017
It has helped me think about the things I love best, and what they mean in everyday life