You

I met a man four years ago, he was the one I want to jump in with into this black hole called love. We came from the opposite sides of the world with different cultures, different practices, different skin colours and different perspectives in life. He was everything that I did not expect fate would bring me. As cheesy as it may sound, he brought so much joy in this noiseless small world of mine. His zealousness in life and adventure was something that I want to be part of.

He became everything that I'm not and everything that I want to be. He was very different from all the rest, he was just himself. He was comfortable in his own skin and he spoke his mind. He was brave and strong. His confidence and his childlike thoughts about the world was a give away of how our conversations would be 40 years down the road. He gave me a reason to believe in myself and see the beauty in me.  

The laughter he shared with me was something that I am grateful for, it is not everyday that you meet someone that could laugh about 'meatballs' , 'cupcakes', 'pigs and boars' and a lot more quirky things that involves 'piglets'. He was full of life and a lot of love.

I was sure when I met him that he would be part of me and that I have someone to watch many sunrises and sunsets with. I found my travel buddy, drinking partner and piggy half in him. He was my smile, my hope, my strength and he was my root.  As Paulo Coelho quoted ..Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.  I found my treasure in him and for that I love him.

       The 47 months, 4 weeks, 1 day, 7 hours, 53 minutes and 20 seconds that he has shared with me has been the happiest times of my life. I know that the best is yet to come. He has made me his world and his life. He made sure that I am loved, cared for and secured. He provided a life that I would choose a thousand times over, again and again, with no regrets. He protected me from life's harsh blows. He was there in my sunny days and stood by me in my rainy days.

He is you.  

Me

She was a damaged good from the start. Searching for the right time, the right place and the right person to be happy with.  She spent her time honing her skills and picking up her pieces, she wanted to be whole for him. She was a person with a big heart and a lot of love to give. When she met him, she knew it was the start of a new journey. She knew he was special. She was ready for him.

She loved his zest for life, it was contagious. She started to love life and all the complexities that came with it. She started living rather than just existing. She understands now that there is so much more in life when you have someone beside you that you can be yourself. She can bare her soul to him, without any prejudice. When she is surrounded by his love there is no race and no religion. She can come undone and not be judged by who she was and who she is. Flaws and all, she was loved by him. 

She loved him with all of her from the start. He deserved to be loved in return. She would love him forever and always. Her faithfulness to him is unconditional. Her happiness is his happiness. She will support all his endeavors in life. She will be his rock. 

35,040 hours with him is what she has always wanted in life. 2,012,400 minutes to feel loved and protected has always been her dream. 126,144,000 seconds to laugh, to cry and be crazy with him is what she has envisioned. A lifetime with him will always be her hope.

She is me.

Us

 They were not always happy. They weathered life together. They became stronger. On love and happiness, they remain together. It will not be forgotten. They have each other.

You and me became possible because of your sacrifices and patience. You and me are together because we held on. What we have is not perfect but through imperfections we understand what beauty is. We might sometimes be oceans apart but does it matter? does time zones matter? No it doesn't.

Thanking you does not need an occasion. Thank you Nicholas for the love, faithfulness and unconditional support you have given me. May we remain each other's confidant. May we continue to share each other's aspirations and hopes in the future.

We will continue to travel and see the world together. We will laugh at the minuscule of things around us and find joy in everything we see. The years we spent together is nothing compared to the reasons why we love each other. Nick, you are my happiness and you are my home. My heart belongs to you and I hope you know that. We will dance more and drink our hearts out. We will get drunk and laugh like there is no tomorrow. 

Nicholas, I love you and that is all I really wanted to say. I am grateful for you. When I start to reflect about my experiences in life, good and bad, I realised how much I have changed. I came to an understanding why things needed to happen as they did. If they never happened I wouldn’t have met you and I wouldn’t have been ready for you. I am happy now and I am looking forward to many years with you darling.  

To more sunsets and sunrises. To more heavy metal music, to more G&T, to more Margarita, to more hugs and kisses.

Lastly, to more adventures together oinky.

Cheers! Salute! Kampay! Tagay!

That is us.

    You often call me on the phone or drop by to interrupt my continuous and enervating solving of problems and keeping of promises, and while I listen impatiently to your enthusiastic rants, being annoyed by every insignificant detail you must tell me about your newest idea, I slowly get away from the inertia of my busy life. The confidence you spread across the room and the calm passion of your speech always seems to help me put on rose-colored glasses for a moment and believe I can do anything I want to. For this reason, I hope you will have about the same strength I need to listen to you when I’m tired, and the willing to leave aside your dreaming and planning for a few minutes and read these words dedicated to you.

    We have known each other since both of us can remember. More precisely, we’ve been getting to know more of each other since we can remember. As my sister, you are the one who knows and understands me the best and I had thought I understand you the best too. Now, after everything that happened during the past year, I can’t dare to think the same because you simply amaze me and I have to admit it.

    Your huge brown eyes are now livelier than ever before, and the large smile you work your little pink lips into brightens the day. For months and weeks I thought you hated me just like the rest of our family, and misinterpreted the ice cold look in your eyes as arrogance. I thought you might be depressed, or just lazy and too dramatic. I thought you were just an usual teenager, acting like one. After you have been diagnosed with a psychotic disorder followed weeks of chaotic thoughts, violent negative feelings, guilt, rapidly changing points of view, an unbearable amount of tension between the family members and the feeling that I was somehow dead, and everything I had ever believed in was meaningless. When everyone got over this and you started to feel better, I started again to do things. Just forced myself to do things because our lives had to go on. I did things for people who wanted things, because it was my responsibility or because it was in my power to do so. I had been dragged around in every direction by everyone I didn’t want to upset or let down, and lost my interest in anything. I didn’t want to be a certain way or to do anything in particular anymore. Besides, I wanted not to see you, not because I was mad at you, but because I thought you should be mad at me and because I was mad at myself for not having realized something was wrong, and that you needed help - for having let you suffer.

    We were both too young when your illness emerged. You were not yourself yet and your developing personality was overshadowed by symptoms. Now it’s been two months since you stopped taking any medication and you started becoming your true self. Two months since you started charming me, involving me in your frantic search for things to do and things to wish for, and making me painfully miss you when we are apart, exactly like when we were toddlers. 

    The way you get so passionate about everything you do gives me energy to start wishing things again. When you tell me how you are going to achieve your goals I feel stronger and more confident. Your great plans are not naïve but bold and positive.   

    Not every time you tried something was a success, and very often people you asked to help turned you down. At first you requested an enormous amount of attention and involvement from everyone, close friends or mere acquaintances. We supported you and helped but the innumerable ideas you were able to produce were just too much for us. Many times people, even I, couldn’t give you everything you wanted or spend as much time as you needed on your little projects. One of the things that I appreciate most about you is that the long stream of failures and rejections did not make you shut yourself to new challenges. You proved strength, confidence and the power of being understanding. You built up your self esteem and learned to look for people who genuinely share your interest in certain activities and causes. You are objective and flexible but you do not repress yourself.

    Many of your goals include helping, teaching and discovering persons because you are kind and you take as much joy in other people’s achievements as you take in yours. This often materializes in the form of care for and a desire to spend time with children.

    You know yourself. You must have figured out by this point that this is an eulogy and you probably wonder why I haven’t mentioned your trademark qualities so far. I am not the only one who praises you and you are used to hearing how good you are at sports, how beautiful you look and how well proportioned are your sketches. Someone had to remind you that you mean more than that. Being funny is not an insignificant attribute, but the essence of your own self is deeper than that.   

    Of course you have flaws too, but naming them is pointless because I know that you are aware of them. You are not afraid to say you are not perfect, even though you are. Your flaws do not define you because you have the power and willingness to improve yourself. You keep looking for your true self and reinventing your own person with an unbelievable capability to introspect and a strong will. Even though you are young and the best of times are yet to come, I believe you are complete. Completely amazing. I have nothing more to say but thank you for inspiring me, charging me with positive energy and reminding me there are plenty of things I can do to make the world a better place.      

Tim is a person that I met in a strange part of my life. When I met him, I was in an unhappy relationship with an emotionally abusive partner. I didn't know it was abusive until he told me and helped me get out of it. I never intended to fall for him, but some things are meant to happen, not through choice, but through fate.

I'd never believed in fate or miracles before I met him. I was a skeptic and a cynic due to years and years of being taken for granted and being taken advantage of. I had grown to think that maybe I was meant to have those things happen to me, over and over. As sad as it is, I was used to it. I didn't expect anything more. I never expected that to change, but it did, and definitely for the better.

I met Tim through a mutual friend. I saw him, and the room felt a bit brighter. I didn't notice it, of course. In retrospect, I should've noticed the way he lit up the room and the way when he spoke, people listened. He was a ray of light in the dark, he was something special. Over time, I did begin to notice things about him. How he tilted his head when he smiled, the dimples on either side of his cheeks that poked out when he laughed.

He has the exact dark, sarcastic humor that I have. We suit each other perfectly, and we grew closer and closer as time went on. We started seeing each other more often, even outside of the friend group we had somehow melded into. 

It wasn't until New Year's Eve until I realized I loved him. He showed up in a suit, completely overdressed to go downtown and watch the fireworks and drink hot chocolate. He didn't care, though. He never did, he did what he wanted when he wanted and his confidence is something that I'll always admire. His disregard for what others think is probably one of the biggest things that had me so drawn to him. He's an enigma; reckless but careful, snarky but kind. I realized that I loved him when the clock struck twelve and everybody was shouting and counting down and he didn't kiss me, but he drew me into a hug and I still remember the warmth of his skin despite the freezing temperature and his stubble on my cheek.

After the realization that I loved him, I didn't know what to do. It wasn't long before he admitted his feelings and even though it should've been completely obvious for the both of us, we were both oblivious.

Dating Tim has been the craziest experience of my life, it's been passionate and silly and everything I could ever want in a relationship. He truly is my other half, as corny as that sounds. I wouldn't trade him for anything, not for money, not for some handsome celebrity that everyone drools over. I'd search for him in a crowded room every single time. I will always choose him and I know it. There's nobody else that could make me feel as safe as he does, there's nobody else that could still give me butterflies when he smiles at me.

Trying to list everything I love about him is difficult, there are so many facets to him; he's complex but simple to me. We seem to be completely in tune with each other all the time, we can communicate with just a glance and know exactly what the other means.

I love his brown eyes and the way they shine when he talks about something he's passionate about. I could listen to him talk for hours about quantum physics, even though I know nothing about it, just to bathe in his presence and his exuberance. He's so intelligent, though he's too humble to say it. He's the hardest worker I've ever met, he has this motivation and drive for life that I've never seen in anyone else before. He has such a bright future ahead of him, he has so much potential. Tim is so much more than what meets the eye, he's hilarious, sure, but he's such a beautiful person, inside and out.

His wit is another thing that I admire about him. He's so funny, sarcastic with a dry sense of humor. His jokes make everyone in the room laugh without even trying. We have the same sense of humor and endless inside jokes that nobody else could even try to understand. We banter all the time, and people who don't know us might think we're fighting, but it's all in good fun. If he ever goes too far with a joke, he makes sure to tell me he's kidding and that he loves me.

Speaking of love, he is one of the biggest softies I've ever met. He might act like he has no feelings, but when it comes to me, he's such a sweetheart. He loves to cuddle, which nobody would expect, but he's always either holding my hand or has his hand on my leg or something. He reaches for my hand in his sleep, which is so endearing and it makes my heart melt every time. He loves kisses and he'll never tell anyone that he giggles if you kiss a certain part of his cheek. He'd tell you it's because he's ticklish there, but no, it just makes him really happy. He's the kind of boyfriend who sends you a million hearts after an I love you over text just to make sure you know how deeply he feels and how much he means it. He has such a big heart and he holds his family and friends dear. He'd never, ever hurt me on purpose and if he does on accident, he'll make sure that he makes up for it somehow, whether it be buying dinner for me or holding me and reassuring me how much he loves me and how sorry he is.

He's such a unique person that it's difficult to describe him in ways other than perfect. I love him more than life itself and I'm so excited for our future together.

Here's to you, Timothy Ross. I love you more than you could ever imagine. You're the love of my life and I'm so glad that we got so lucky as to exist at the same time and in the same place as you. I'd follow you to the end of the Earth and more if you needed me to.

Afifa,

You came into my life in the darkest hour. When my heart had broken into pieces, my dreams had flown away, and I was ready to die. I was trapped in a gravy tunnel with blind ends. I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t know what to do. I lost the track of my time and my soul.

I was stuck in misery and sufferings. And then you came. You came and whispered love in my ear, directed my path through the darkness, lightened my soul with your greatness. You appeared like an angel with your divine purity in my life.

You arrived as a friend, held onto me as my best friend and shrouded me with your love. I remember how rude I behaved toward you. But no matter what, you held my hand throughout all the frustration and disappointments I had been through in all those years. You were always there for me, always. And now you know, I can never let you go.

Do you remember those mornings when we were used to seeing sunrise together? Do you remember the nights when we would listen to songs all night? I don’t know when I fell in love with you but I definitely know I don’t want to get up from this. I have found you; the love of my life, my soul mate, my ATTA.

I love you…

Will you still love me when I am no longer young and beautiful? I know you will…

In tribute to my Arabic teacher in the secondary school, Mr. Mahmoud Gad Allah.

If i have anything to be thanked by the others , that will be part of your favor on me.

You gave me the most important lesson in my life.. everyone should have his own code of ethics and have to defend them even if he lost his very well respected career.

I wish if i could have the chance to meet you again.

My work mate Mr.Nabil el segginy.

I owe you too much because you teached photoshop to me and my work friends.

You are very helpful and down to earth.

You choose to teach us the course for free despite the fact you teach this course in the university as part of your paid work.

Thank you very much

I was 5 when my sister was born. At the beginning, as a child used everything to be for me and only me, I was little selfish to her. Our relationship was rough and we barely talked and even when we were talking it was some kind of a fighting, competing etc. I don’t know how it happened, maybe me becoming older, or her growing up and expressing her feelings, we started talking more often. Now, it wasn’t those old fights or constant competing.

We started sharing details about our personal life. We started making more memories together and even though she was younger, she taught me some very important lessons in my life.

My sister taught me about sharing, because the more you give even more you get in return. Not money, but love, respect, care.

My problems became a little bit less scary. I knew I had person by my side I know I can tell everything about. Just talking sometimes felt good, made me feel less stressed.

I am glad I realized the importance of the family in our lives and I regret not knowing this thing earlier in my life.

I am thankful for the love and care I receive and give every day. 

As children and teenagers we often look at our parents as annoying, frustrating, nagging and pains in our behinds. It often takes some years of maturity to realise that our moms were always right and our dads were just looking out for us. It seems that we must first outgrow our ignorance or self-righteousness before we can appreciate them for the blessing they are.

My parents are truly my biggest blessing in life. They have been married for 34 years and are still going strong. My brothers and I have never lacked love or kindness or food or safety. My parents are not rich and have their share of diffculties, but despite that, they have always provided us with everything we needed and as often as they can, they provide the things we want. We have always had all we needed.

Some of my fondest memories of my childhood are where friends came over to play or swim or sleep-over. My parents are always part of these memories as they were always involved in my life and very kind and inviting to any friends I had. To this day this is still true. Anyone is welcome and greeted warmly into our home and if you stick around for a while, you become part of the family. Even though I no longer live with them, my parents' house will always be my home and I will always return there.

I have always appreciated my parents for who they are and what they have provided for me. It was, however, only in recent years that I realised how truly blessed I am. As I met other people and their parents, I came to the realisation that my parents were perfect for me. I could not imagine any other person or people being my parents. This realisation stemmed from seeing all kinds of parents and working with people from different families varying from homes like mine to homes where the parents barely featured. This brought tears to my eyes and filled my heart with warmth. I had never felt so grateful in my life.

My parents are my heroes; my place of safety; my book of reason; my support; my teachers; my guides; my fall-backs; my examples; my strength and my heart. This remains true even on days when we disagree or annoy each other. They will always be my greatest blessing and my saving grace. I am truly privileged to have them.

When I first knew you-
When was that?
I have always known you.
In the Past, Present, and Future,
I was there and so were you.

My friend, wait for me.
I have to go on this journey.
I promise I will return
I have to go.
It is time for us to find our strength.

We will meet again,
No longer girls, shy in the ways of the world,
But strong women, who will laugh,
Cry and rejoice when reunited.

Let us walk now alone along this road.
We have what we need,
I my pen,
As do you, ready.
When we reach the fork choose your path.
I have chosen mine.

Our roads will meet one day-
Do not run.
Walk, there is much to learn where you go.
Your voice and pen will be your sword.
Use them wisely-
Call, and though I will not be able to join you,
I will be there,
Loving directions and advice guiding your way.

My friend wait for me.
It will not be long.
One day we will meet,
At the end of the road
The sky will open,
And a rainbow will arch above us.

*to my lifelong friend and sister, Hannah.

You said the ground was covered in clock pieces and I was surrounded.

Everyone was looking up from their Christmas presents,

Surprised, confused, a little uneasy,

As you pointed at me insisting,

“The floor is covered in clock pieces, you’re going to cut yourself!”

Watching, as you jumped in surprise as your wife of fifty years,

Put her hand on yours to calm you down,

And you looked at her as if she was a complete stranger.

The woman before you with a white crown of hair,

Once the six-year old girl you promised to marry.

We watch as you look down at your hands,

Large, worn out and wizened by time; as if they hold the answers

Hands that once graded Astronomy papers,

Held your children and grandchildren with equal care

Filled in endless crossword puzzles

Played chess and mended kites

Fixed zippers with soap and drew star charts.

Now, sitting quietly on your lap, trembling and tired from use.

Memory, a foggy haze as you look around at your children and their children,

Keeps you from looking around with your normal smile, and instead you look completely lost.

And it hurts, more than I can possibly say,

To have you, Grandpa,

Who used to know every star,

Every bird,

Every fact worth knowing,

Say to Grandma,

“She’s not listening. That girl doesn’t know she’s sitting on clock pieces.”